A fork in the road

I think historically I've posted at the beginning of each summer with goals/plans, etc. Oops. I don't think I had a whole lot to say at the beginning of the summer anyway. Last year was pretty uneventful aside from OOPSLA, which I posted about. I don't think I'll be returning this year, unfortunately. There were only minor details like, oh, I got a summer internship at Google.

Okay, not so minor. I didn't have much to say on the topic, though, since I didn't know exactly what I'd be working on. I'm on the last week of my internship now and I still can't say what I'm working on. I'll just say that I can't be (much?) happier than the project assignment I have. If you combine this with the blog title, I'm sure you can tell the direction in which this is heading.

I'm nearing what appears to be a fork in the road that is my life. It "appears" to be a fork because, in reality, neither road is actually completely open. The first path is to stay in grad school until I get my PhD; the second is to leave grad school with an MS and go to work at Google. In order for me to stay in grad school, I have to pass my qualifier. The second part has proven more difficult than anything I've experienced in school so far. Obviously, to work at Google, I would need to get a job offer.

Staying in grad school has some benefits. Many PhDs work at Google, so the industry option is never eliminated; many compilers/PL people have PhDs, which is still my field of interest; a PhD is basically essentially for teaching. Of course, it's not without cons, either. Actually, I just have one big, big con right now and that's research. I was always unsure of how well I would adapt to a research environment. The answer so far has been, "not very well." The reasons range from finding many papers to be boring to not enjoying my research work. For the latter, I have nobody to blame but myself. My advisor is always open to other ideas. I just don't have any. This problem will only compound if I stay in grad school, since I'll have to produce a thesis.

As for Google, let's just say that if working there would be like my internship has been all the time, then it would be great. I don't think I really need to evangelize working at Google. As for leaving grad school for Google, there are definite cons. Starting a job will be the next big shift in lifestyle. In school, my schedule is very relaxed. Working pretty much blocks off most of my day every weekday, which I'm definitely not used to. Even if work is really fun, this has proved to be taxing. In addition, leaving grad school basically eliminates the option of ever getting a PhD. This is mainly problematic since most of the PL people I see at Google have PhDs. Most of these PhDs seem to get their expertise during school. I feel like I have gained no such knowledge so far and that learning this stuff while in school is optimal. I also just hate having options cut off from me, but I can get over that. Eventually.

So where does that leave me now? If I'm "lucky" then the decision will be made for me. Otherwise I have lots of introspection to do. I think if I can successfully steer my research career in a direction that I enjoy, I may stay in grad school. I'm not optimistic about this, but there's no way I'll feel good about the decision if I don't try.